I always heard I was supposed to love God more than anything... or anyone. But in an honest evaluation of self, I found this was not my reality.
An excerpt from a much longer story:
As I climbed up Killer Hill (dubbed the name by the locals because of its steepness/pain on the quads), I was deep in conversation with God. The intensity of the climb, partnered with the depths of longing in my heart, space was created for the authentic truth to burst forth. At the top of the hill, in an exhaustive, a bit irritated, and a projected-exhale, out it came.... “I don’t know how to love You more than I love my family. I don’t know how to love You more than I love a lot of things”. And there it was, my honest confession... my own mouth leaving me in the vastness of vulnerability.
I remember standing at the top of the hill, my shoulders gave way to guilt. With the admission God wasn’t first (perhaps not even the Top Ten of my “list”), a burden settled upon me. It was a burden I was willing to accept. My way of religious-thinking ushered in agreement with the “consequence”. But then, just before the agreement had a chance to take root, He spoke.
The whole conversation happened so fast, like a download on a super-sonic WiFi connection... He answered me. His words broke the burden. In His presence my entire posture shifted. Tears of grief became tears of gratitude. My drooping head and weighted shoulders, elevated. Mercy overwhelmed me. In an instant, with one simple response, everything changed.
To my admittance and confession, He asked a question... “are you willing to love Me beyond anyone or anything?”.
Oh Lord, “YES!" Yes consumed me. Yes burned like a fire within my heart. Never before had I desired to know God like I did in this moment. My willingness was all He desired. I was undone by His presence. His goodness, His kindness, His gentleness was as tangible as the ground beneath my feet.
And right there, at the top of Killer Hill, religious-thinking was slain, and RELATIONSHIP made way.... for His love aligned my heart.
I often think of this moment and offer up my thankfulness to Him. In awe and wonder, I marvel at what transpired... in choosing Him to be my greatest Love and my best friend, my love for others MAGNIFIED! All I had previously prioritized before Him, I now love with a greater measure, a measure I had not known before. It continues to reach new depths. His love never ends...
There’s no greater Love than the love of our Father, our King, and our Comforter.
-MCS